A letter for my little brother

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23rd January 2006

I got my second little brother. You are so precious to me. Everyday I wish I can hug you. You should know how happy I am to see you.

You were tiny, your skin not in a good condition before and you know what, I am so scared when you in incubator. I was young but already know how scared of losing someone. Oh, that's just overthinking. You are doing well right now.

Writing this after you talked how you feel being the youngest. How you hate when mom and dad didn't like you do. How hard to get a good result but you rather to play a soccer instead of study.

"Why I can not do what I like?"
"Can you guys stop nagging at me ?"
"I know what should I do, stop mad at me?"
"Why abang keep angry at me but I didn't do anything wrong?"
"Kakak you are so noisy, stop it"

You are growing up, my dear.
I know how you feel and I am sorry because I keep mad at you just because you are in puberty. When you talked about yourself, I see myself in you. To be honest, it's break my heart. 

No, I don't want you to be sad like me. 
I don't want you to suffer how I feel.
I don't want you to feel lonely at the end of the day.
I want to see you happy whatever you do.
I want you feel how enjoy being a kids.
I want you are growing up well.

I am so sorry because not being a good sister to you.
I mad at you because I want you to learn the mistakes.
But to see you feel the pain, my heart hurts.

My baby, I promise you that I will hold your hand tight and help you to achieve whatever you want. Nothing is impossible to achieve except I make hyunsik as your brother in law. I love you, my baby gedik 💕


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