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Assalamualaikum and hi! so in this post, i am going to recap what happen to me through this year. and yes, this year many things happen, no more boring life, no more mereput day. everyday, have something happen that make me learn something. (well not everyday lah but still i can say like that k 🙈) to be honest, 2017 teach me everything and can i say i feel like i am become matured a little bit. because this hectic year make me more stronger even there have a few days i am crying non stop for no reason *face palm*. so lets talk what happen in months one by one. January start my day with menanam anggur *roll eyes* lost my part time job last year just because i am fat so i decide to give up finding part time job. i feel tired when my dad can not stop asking for me go out and do something berguna. but nahh, i prefer life in my imagination world with oppa 💕💕 (okay sorry dad! 🙏) so my aunt suggest i worked with her and the jobs are take care my grandma fully. kira jadi bibik in my fam...

A dream An ambition "can you tell me what you want to be one day?" "tell your friends what is your dream" "please write your name and your ambition so i can record in my student's profile" you know what, i am so afraid with that question since primary school. i used to have a dream but not now. i do not know why that things happen. when i am getting older, my mind will blur when think about it. always pray hard for lect/teacher not asking me that kind of question because it is gonna take a few hours (or a year maybe) for me to reply it :') ended up gonna say i want to be a teacher (facepalm) hello??? me as a teacher??? even people keep asking something repeatly, gonna mad at them and ask them to solve it by themself (yes sorry because i am so selfish) but when i do the same things to people, i will feel guilty and thought they will think same things like me :') i used to have a dream when i was 11 years old which is i want to be a ...

in this age i feel i am old enough and i can not believe i challange myself in this age even i feel shocked with myself is this ain? the home person? the person that hate to challenge herself? the person always live in her imagination? the person only think about kpop? (sometime still do it 🙈) the person that always overthinking? wow so impress! i shook-ed! maybe people gonna think it is just a normal things but idk because sometime i did not understand with myself always afraid to do something even yes, still feeling afraid for everything but that have a little bit confident right now when i feel down i said to myself "just ignore it ain!" "that's your life!" "nobody care about you or if they talk bad about you, just ignore it" wow since when i can think like that?? the positive person? wow lol ok gonna list what i do in this age first, take a car license almost give up doh but think about my parents i try my ...

dewasa. adult. so kena jadi matang lah kan? matang tu macam mana lak? mesti berfikiran rasional, tidak cepat bertindak tanpa berfikir, terima segala pandangan yang diberikan dan sebagainya. duhh dah macam esei bm. kali ni post maybe santai lah. gonna write randomly and maybe tak masuk akal but whatever 💅 its funny how we wish to become adult so much since we are young but now we want our childhood life back its funny how we are so confident with ourself when we are kids but now we become insecure with everyone. used to have a role model such like barbie, raven and clover (totally spies). tapi kenapa sekarang kita banyak persoalkan apa yang kita tak ada? "why is that person so clever?" "omg that girl have fair skin and why not me?" "she is so lucky have that sporting family" "God, why i can not be just like that person" love. when we are kid, love is the best things ever. i love everything around me. i love sand, i love fallen ...

This gonna be a short post When I was in high school I always " eewww"  kan makeup even ada lah jinak2 sikit like " ohh that lipstick look kinda cute " but still mcm a big no to put that look alike crayon in my lips bruhh in orchestra, we should do a makeup for performance and me (with my friends) sanggup lari dari cikgu sbb taknak makeup. kinda benci the girls (like penari) using too much makeup and bibir merah mcm makan samyang lak masuk lower 6, tgk my aunt's friend ada pouch with full of makeup and kadang2 curi pakai mcm bedak and try eyelashes curler but at last sepit mata sendiri :') so she saw me doing that (or i asking her smthng like that). after that she asked me " you wanna try this things? " and i said yes maybe (lol memory pls comeback) and now me , 20 years old can't stop talking about makeup and i obsessed with it. so this things normal kan ? sbb rasa serba salah bila ada member yg before this jinak2 pakai lipstick bu...

i'm back and feel want to update after read farha's post 😂 this post i'm gonna write about people that give an impact in my life. either positive or negative. mostly of them make me remember until now (still remember their name ok 💅) ok lets get start it !! when i was 6 years old , im like a home person ? introvert person that hate to meet people. actually before i went to tadika kemas , i was suppose go to tadika mindaku. i remember my grandpa already pay the bill (?) and already got the uniform but i decide dont want to go . why ? first i hate people and sec the uniform was a short skirt paras lutut (i think atas sikit) so i mcm tak selesa with that uniform . i think that time i menyorok under the bed bcs i really dont want to go 😂 but 6 tahun kena paksa and i cried a lot. so the only kids that talked to me was Wan Nursofia  and Ramadisky  (idk lah if i spell their name correctly 😂) why i remember them ? bcs i used to sorokkan diri at canteen (?) masa pembelajaran...

i found my life like a movie every year, new movie same character , different story so hello there 2017 20 years old still me that hv same attitude since 2016 why since 2016 ? because i changed a lot dont mind what people gonna talk about me *well actually i still think and sometime overthinking 😒* summary of this movie always i will do on 31st December every year that time im gonna reflect what hv i done happiness embarassing madness sadness creepiness and many more *idk how to describe more* do a reflect to change a better at the same time want to find a new joke to perform at people especially new people lol me 🙈 i like to make a joke because i like people smile and i want to smile too i want to cheer them in 2017 my wish; be more patient i want to control it actually be more silent once i talk , i cant stop and sometime so merapu *ok almost semua my conversation* no more curse bruhhh serious i cant stop even something fall im gonna curs...

hi ! its been a long time didn't update too lazy to do it or maybe just busy with my real life now or don't have such a good memories to share well actually have a good memories just don't want to share it idky heh but still have a bad memories especially in this year i'm really shocked it just a few days of new year but i already listen the truth story that sometime burden me my overthinking is getting over because of this story thanks for my friends now that help me to avoid it new semester new final project this sem already suck because have 3 final project camping , many event , new people that .. haish i just hope i'm not give up this sem last sem result will release next month already feel burden when my parents don't want me to repeat a paper think about my future but economy at this country is getting suck how to survive? old annoying people already go in my life it is ok to say thank you ? because i'm happy now eventho i fe...

I feel sad I feel want to cry now I don't know Yeah at first I feel jealous but I should not think like that Maybe Allah have a good plan for 4 of us InsyaAllah One day we will meet again With a big smile And warm hug One of us , T Went to others school for form 6 Last we met on spm results day Miss her Miss to bully her Miss her voice that always talk about recess Miss her annoying joke that make me feel want to punch her Feel awkward when we all went to same school But no her beside us When people asked about her We feel sad , miss Many things we feel but don't know how to describe Last night Got text from L Said that she got poli And still don't know She'll go or not She gonna think properly She want to go but feel don't want I want to say Please don't go But I think that chance for her To improve be a better person I make a joke "If u hate me,  just go" Well actually I don't want her to go Who gonna hold m...

it's been a long time i update blog about my life (?) before this , mo only whine in this blog . no memory to write in this . but now i have an experience . ok let's start . lepas spm , aku memang dah fikir nak cari kerja or masuk kelas english for improve it . but suddenly ayah suruh join kursus kesetiausahaan and me give big no . but ayah mengamuk aku pun bla . malam tu nangis teruk gila sebab aku tak dapat buat apa yang aku nak walaupun dah habis sekolah sebab ayah aku dah cakap , apa yang aku nak buat lepas spm , buat lah . cakap lah siapa je tak mengamuk . mengadu kat abang pun bukan dia tolong -_____- so aku fikir lebih mendalam and terpaksa lah join . kang tak pasal2 gaduh . 15 december last year aku daftarkan diri dengan mood idgaf to people around me . lepas daftar masuk je bilik dengar ada orang panggil nama aku . and i was like , aduh sape lak ni . acano tahu nama aku ni . and tengok , sekali budak kelas aku masa form 5 . dalam hati ok i'm done with this thi...